"Do or do not. There is no try."
Yoda. I cannot believe you. You are wrong.
I have to consistently believe that my tries mean something. I have to believe that my attempts at anything mean something. Or else I am left with nothing.
Pathetic failures at achieving anything in my life is all I have to look back on. If I measure my life by my achievements my track record is pathetically bleak.
That's why I can't measure myself by what I have done or what I have achieved. I have to look back on what I have tried to do with my life.
There are no awards I can put up on the wall. I can't list my achievements in a line or a title. Resume writing is the single most torture in my life because how can I tell the people out in the world that the greatest achievements are the ones that I have made within the confines of my heart behind closed doors and in empty rooms? How can I explain that I have never distinguished myself except in ways that only I have seen?
All I can say about myself is that I try. I do my best with what I have and when it comes to comparison maybe it withers, but it's what I have to offer.
That has value.
It has to.
Otherwise, what am I but a pathetic, bleak person who hides behind failure because she's too afraid to achieve anything.
